Things I’ve been thinking about:
Destiny: I finally watched 500 Days of Summer and when it ended I chuckled and remarked, “there’s no such thing as destiny, life is a series of moments- coincidences.” Kenny asked me if I actually believed that the idea of “destiny” didn’t exist. I told him I believe we all create our own lives and futures and there is no set path for us. I think we make our paths by the choices we make. The things we can’t control, we can’t control and work with or around. The important people I have in my life I have because I choose to. I met them by coincidence and chose to keep them.
School: I’m getting to know this professor who gave me my first A in a math class. I complained to him about the lack of competition at Santa Cruz that I missed at MV. His advice was to continue hanging out with people like Ahil and JT who were also serious about school like me and know what they’re doing with their lives. (Or trying to figure that out, anyway). Though I am incredibly grateful to know these guys I still have to compare myself to my friends back home. My professors have told me I’m on the right track, very ahead and should slow down. But when I compare myself to my home friends I still feel 10 steps behind. I’m not complaining about this feeling at all because I never want to feel completely satisfied with my work. I know I can always improve and can always get better. Plus, SC is not the real world. And when I graduate I will be competing with the Penn, Cal, and Cornell Devina equivalents of the world. Not to mention the Alice, Olga, and Connie equivalents. I’m trying not to see my education as a drawback, but the bottom line is- it is. As hard as I work I won’t have the alumni networks, the recruiting opportunities, or the pretty school on my resume. I know I’ll do well, that’s not a doubt in my mind. I’ll be happy and comfortable but I’ll still be comparing myself to the same people no matter how well I’ll do. But I guess that’s a good thing. I think I’ve picked the right friends. I’ve always made it a point to hang out with people who are much more intelligent than I am and more successful. My dad’s favorite quote “You sleep with dogs, you’ll catch fleas.” I completely believe the opposite is true. There’s a reason I have standards and won’t settle for mediocrity. So thank you Penn, Cal and Cornell for making me drink wine instead of smirnoff and condom over pull out. It’s because of you all I won’t end up an accountant hehe 
Relationships: Hot topic these days…. It’s amazing what love can do to you. It’s like alcohol- it impairs your judgement, makes you emotional and definitely not safe while driving (I almost killed Kenny). All those gross things I hate seeing couples do like hold hands on a bus, write on each other’s walls, v-day/ anniversary presents or silly pet names I find myself doing! (Except for the wall thing- that’s obnoxious- send a fucking text message) I know I’m not thinking clearly and making decisions I normally wouldn’t or impractical but I don’t care! I’m happy. I’m really happy to do all the cute things and have someone in my life who I am 100% myself around and won’t judge me no matter what I say. Even one of my best friends told me I could do better but I honestly do not care. Why should I drop something that makes me happy just because he’s not my usual “type” or doesn’t seem “me”. I think when you find something rare you hold on to it. And that’s what I’m doing. As gooey as it sounds, he takes care or me, looks out for me and treats me. People have asked me what we’ll do after he graduates but it’s one of the furthest things from my mind. Because we don’t know and we don’t care yet.
